


First of April

by firecube



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: F/M, Oneshot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:50:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5440706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecube/pseuds/firecube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsubasa Li/Princess Tsubasa-centric songfic.  Li’s musings of all that has happened to them and how things have changed.<br/>Song lyrics from:  “First of May” by Beegees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First of April

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> Tsubasa and its characters belong to CLAMP.  
> “First of May” lyrics belong to Beegees.  
> A/N:  
> This is my first songfic, as well as my first completely SyaoSaku-centric fic.

_When I was small_

_And Christmas trees were tall_

_We used to laugh while others used to play_

 

There was a time when we were small and innocent, carefree.

Unfortunately, that time was all too fleeting.

A week actually. For a week we knew each other, the both of us were unburdened.

Funny, how time works. In a way, it doesn’t even matter really. The passage of time doesn’t dictate the affect something has on our hearts.

Forever I’ll hold that week in my heart; although it’s every moment with you I shall hold dear, those seven days will always be the fondest in my memories.

I cannot rid myself of the wish to relive them.

I actually did so, in fact, but in the most twisted of ways.

 

_Don’t ask me why_

_The time had passed us by_

_Someone else moved in from far away_

All I wished was for those seven days to proliferate, expand into oblivion.

If only I could rewind time, that wish would be granted.

But I could rewind time. And I did.

Time turned back, and time froze.

My time. Your heart and soul.

And time continued on, for another you. Before, I found that hard to sort out. I wanted to believe that it was you.

But no, she wasn’t the same. As much as your souls may have been the same, you and you only are mine. That I now know.

This other you, who took your place as you remained in limbo, was joined by another me. Just an empty shell, he was designed to be, but I gave him half of myself, making him even closer to me than perhaps the other you was to you.

So I relived those seven days, which did indeed proliferate, although they were never permitted to expand into oblivion.

I relived through the eyes of the other me who bore half of my heart.

I thought that in this way, I was able to be by your side, if only halfway.

I may have been mistaken, but it was my small comfort as I lay in wait in the loneliest of prisons.

 

_Now we are tall_

_And Christmas trees are small_

_And you don’t ask the time of day_

We grew up together for seven long years.

Those seven years I cherished like I cherished those seven days.

When our time was rewound, we grew again.

The other me grew, the other you grew.

Their time was rewound, as well, and they grew some more.

As the flow of time has become not a flow at all, I find no reason to acquaint it with age, physical or otherwise.

All I need to know is that, as our existences carry on, our hearts change, for hearts are probably the most dynamic things of all.

 

_But you and I_

_Our love will never die_

_But guess who cried_

_Come first of May_

But as our hearts grow and change, the love that exists within them remains for all time.

Love itself changes.

From adoration to desperation to joy to despair to even hatred.

Love isn't something that can be clearly defined. It isn't meant to be. What’s important is that it’s there, within us, and if it is true, it always will be, never to fade.

And I believe it to be so that it is from our love that all other emotions flow.

 

_The apple tree_

_That grew for you and me_

_I watched the apples falling one by one_

Memories and love are deeply intertwined.

I made memories with you whilst dreading the impending doom that was upon you, made testament by the black wings that only your mother and I could see.

Every time I was enveloped by your embraces, so was I enveloped by the visual countdown to your death.

The other I was able to make memories with the other you without this burden.

But then the other you was remade yet again, with all of those precious memories stripped away.

And those that where the most precious of all were forever lost.

That was much, much worse.

 

_And I recall_

_The moment of them all_

_The day I kissed your cheek and you were mine_

But the thing about memories is that they are forever being born.

While they are all irreplaceable, new memories come along with a new start.

We confessed our love before my departure. One of my most vivid memories.

Surely my parents did so after they were reunited, years before my birth.

It is my wish for them to be reborn again, with the chance of new memories and a new start.

 

_Now we are tall_

_And Christmas trees are small_

_And you don’t ask the time of day_

Now we are parted, dimensions apart.

But our lives continue on.

We have grown, and we will grow yet more, along with our hearts.

 

_But you and I_

_Our love will never die_

_But guess who cried_

_Come first of May_

We both know that we will always meet again.

Separation is always followed by reuniting.

But in turn, reuniting is always followed by separation.

I know it must pain you, but I have no regrets. This was the price I paid.

 

_When I was small . . ._

_And Christmas trees were tall . . ._

_Don’t ask me why . . ._

_The time has passed us by . . ._

_Someone else moved in from far away . . ._

END

**Author's Note:**

> I was just listening to the song, and it reminded of Syaoran and Sakura. It occurred to me that I’ve never done a songfic so I just thought why not go for it. This turned out a bit differently than I had originally planned, and I was afraid it would wind up going all over the place, with me trying to make each section relate to its corresponding lyrics. Fortunately I was able to work with it so, even if you disregard the lyrics, everything makes sense read together.  
> Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
